Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
