My room smells like vodka and shame
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
