i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
