is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
