you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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