I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
