You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The adults are the big ones right?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
