Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
