I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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