I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
