last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
