why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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