hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize