Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
