Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize