This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
