omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I want a musical about memes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
