you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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