Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
