How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
