It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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