He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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