"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
