my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
