She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
