ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
