so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
