i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
