The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
