Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
