Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
