i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
