The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
