White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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