found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
