if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ugly people sure do ruin things
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
