just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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