yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
