If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
