i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
