So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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