i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
