Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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