Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
