its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need to align my fucking chakras
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
