OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
how do you play pong handcuffed?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
