it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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