I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
