Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
porn star boner night. come get it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
