No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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