if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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