dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
