If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
