I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
