It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
