pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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